Death was not meant to be

Standing in my bathroom 

I look at myself in the mirror

I see a person who is not me

I see a woman who has suffered 

Lost in the worst way

Not wanting to live 

To see the next day

My mind is contemplating 

My next move

What should I do

What shall I chose

I slowly open my cabinet

Reaching my hand in

I grab the pill bottles

To remove me from pain again

I just want to die

I take 3 pills 

But I know 3 is not enough

So I pop 7 more 

But my heart is still sore

I just want the pain to end

So I pick up the bottle 

And take them all

I sit down 

The cold tile 

Is pressed against my legs

I close my eyes

And lay my head back in the corner

And I wait patiently 

I wait for death 

To come and embrace me

To replace me 

I don’t wanna live 

How can I live 

If living is without you

How can I breathe 

If breathing is without you

How can I go on 

Without you?

If your walking thru the valley of the shadows of death

I want to be right there beside you holding your hand 

I never want to be without you.

My eyes are feeling heavy

My heart is racing 

The color from vision is slowly fading

I have no cares in the world 

None what so ever 

It was always supposed to be you and I together

I swallow my mouth s becoming dry

I have vivid images of you and I 

Through the happy moments

And the ones that made us cry

I just want to be with you

Since I ant have you any longer in life

I am on my way to join you in death

Because without you here for me 

There is nothing left

Meet me half way as I am coming towards the light…

I will be with you so now I know everything will be alright.

Slowly I begin to fade into the dark,

Knowing that now we shall never part

My heart beat slows down

I am that much closer to you 

Then peacefully I drift off to join you,

I see you standing there I reach my hand out to you

You reach yours out to me,

Then the color returns 

I guess this time death was not meant to be

Miss Remy © 2011